Who am I?

I'm white and I rap and think I'm cool
But the truth is I'm really a fool
I like to play poker
and pretend to be a smoker
I like to talk about my cards
But in reality I'm a big retard
My ding-dong is tiny
and my hair is a little slimy
I think poker will make me rich
But in the end I'm just a little bitch

100 pts to the person who names the above member!