Horribad Pokerowned Players

[Drywallman3]

Welcome back, gang...sorry it's been so long since my last update here, but I've been avoiding the freerolls for a bit. Of course, after cashing the bulk of my roll out, I'm rebuilding yet again, which means it didn't take long to find some absolutely laughable plays.

In today's early Carbon freeroll, I managed to get a player to check-min-raise me with his top two pair vs my straight, after which we put the piles in, and he caught his miracle 4-outer for the boat. But altho he was definitely a horribad player, that wasn't really the best example of purely foolish play. My most recent exit, however, is a brilliant display of the kind of poker that has allowed me to do all my holiday shopping with these peoples' money.

Leading up to this hand, on my right was CowbgyDang. Now I've seen some really bad players in my time, but this guy was primo sucko. He somehow managed to call his 40 or so BB's in cold with AQo vs AKh...the flop comes, with an A and two hearts, giving the AKh a 99% chance of winning. Our hero only needs running non-heart Q's or exactly non-heart JT, which of course is delivered for his pleasure. Later, he risks most of his stack again, pre-flop, as an 85% dog against KK, but alas, his miracle A comes on the river. And then later, against me, his JT butted up against my QT when we both turned trips, and he was saved again when the river A gave him a chop of the pot. Needless to say, he was feeling pretty proud of himself and his great play at that point. On my left was oakleyannie, a donk of Fancygirl and MyriamandMax proportions (I know, I know...it's hard to put anyone in that company, but trust me.)

I fought back, tho, and was sitting on a tenuous 20bbs or so, when this stunner of a player (annieoakley) ends up two players to my right after some tables collapsed. She starts the hand with around 3800 and is second to act. Looking down at her monster of a hand, she is compelled to limp in early position. When I see my KQo, I realize I am probably dominating her or barely behind some weak A, so I raise it 3.5x, to 700...the 1800-chip short-stack on my left flats this, which is a bit spooky because they really don't have a stack to be flatting early position raises - but then, it IS a freeroll and these fools LOVE a reason to just call, which, of course, annie does.

So off to the flop we go, with 2400 chips in the pot, it comes 5KJ rainbow. I've flopped top pair with Q-kicker, have a passive donk in front and a passive short-stack behind. I assume if either had a hand that was beating me at this point, they may have raised pre-flop. KJ, of course, is always possible from donks like this, as is 55, but if that's the case, so be it.

Naturally, annieoakley checks. When you discover just how strong her hand is you will understand. She is sitting on a monster. I really don't want to lose her, and I want to give the shortie some rope, so I also check my top pair. As planned, shortie moves his pile into the middle, betting his remaining 1174, or just under half the pot. To my surprise, annieoakley brilliantly check-shoves her pile, which puts me to a decision for 80% of my stack. I feel pretty good that I am not far behind shortie, if at all, and am very likely crushing annieoakley, so I quickly click the call button looking to rid the tournament of her super-solid play.

I turn over KQo, shortie turns over his KQs...we are tied, and with only one spade on the board, he'll need runner-runner to crack the tie. Then the sheer brilliance of annieoakley shines through, when she flips over her K2h. Naturally, her whole line now makes perfect sense. With 19bbs, she's going to be limping in early position with these kinds of suited 11-gappers, hoping to flop big draws. She can make SO many straights, and even has a flush chance, so hands like this are never to be folded in early position. This flop, in her mind, hit her right over the head, since she's got a backdoor flush draw AND a backdoor 2nd pair draw. How could she possibly fold? <edit: no hearts on board, I mis-read the HH, so she did NOT, surprisingly, have a flush draw of any kind, backdoor or otherwise>

Pre-flop, annieoakley's actually a 28% favorite vs us and our measley 70% chance of winning. THAT is EXACTLY when you want to spring a check-shove trap, but she actually waits for the flop, which only sucks us in further. After the flop, she becomes a 10% favorite to win. Naturally, with strength like that, she doesn't want to try to win outright, but wants to gain a few callers, which she effectively does with her -EV line. She waits until the short-stack shoves before putting her pile in BEFORE the pre-flop raiser has folded...absolutely brilliant!

So there we are on the flop with all our piles in the middle, when the turn brings the A of diamonds. Shortie and I are racing to the chop, only ahead by 93%. I should really know better than to expect anything other than exactly what annieoakley had planned all along: the river 2d. "Bink," as they say.

Poor shortie makes his exit, I mention something disparaging about her ridiculously low ROI across 600+ games, and she immediately limps in to the next pot UTG. Still awed by her brilliance, I watch as she takes down the next hand with her A6o - again, a hand that is NEVER to be folded before the flop.

Thank you, annieoakley. My kids are going to love the remote-controlled helicopters that losing players like you have paid for, and for which I will surely reap a better ROI - even when they crash and destroy them before lunch on Christmas Day - than have you in your 625 donkaments. Keep on keeping on, and don't change a THING!!

Nice hand, VERY well played. Get proud.

and this is a free roll, I suggest a different hobby if you put this much into a free roll........

[DocHo11idaze]

no this is epic, i love the horribad po players being called out.

[tommy62278]

i agree with the guy. sounds kinda like sharking whom i also agree with when it comes to poker theory. the point of poker is to try n win. why wouldnt you want to try to improve your game?

ive found that when you play in these PO freerolls its almost a joke. its bingo pretty much for the 1st hour and then youll see some slightly better play. its pretty pathetic to be honest. sure theres a few good players in these from PO, but for the most part its filled with the worst of the worst, and this thread is just. the guy is correct. PO members alot of you SUCK bad

[tommy62278]

these are my stats for po tourneys. notice ive been here over 2 years and only played in 401 tourneys. i stopped playing these bingo fests along time ago. nobody seems to care about poker. all they care about is playing bad and laughing in your face. nowdays i might play 1 game a month with this bunch. it saddens me to get beat by horribad po players

Total Tournaments: 401
Place Times Placed % Placed
1. 5 1.25%
2. 6 1.50%
3. 12 2.99%
4. 12 2.99%
5. 6 1.50%
6. 6 1.50%
7. 5 1.25%
8. 5 1.25%
9. 6 1.50%
10. 4 1.00%
1. - 10. 67 16.71%

[Drywallman3]

this is mine and I do this for fun.......

Total Tournaments: 473
Place Times Placed % Placed
1. 10 2.11%
2. 11 2.33%
3. 7 1.48%
4. 9 1.90%
5. 9 1.90%
6. 7 1.48%
7. 6 1.27%
8. 13 2.75%
9. 16 3.38%
10. 13 2.75%
1. - 10. 101 21.35%

[panthers63]

Thanks for the work Haversham. Enjoyed the read. I think fancy is getting better.

[EyegotnutZ]

bad players...hard to define them as bad when they have so much luck on their side as low and behold that seems to be a big big part of online poker...but I boy do I know what you mean with some of the plays a guy can run into...wowzers...even at the Poker owned client where you would think a bit of pride in playing good would come into effect..stopped in there today to send a 100 pts away with double suited aces...a half my stack pot bet and I think the whole table called...of course one of them caught and beat me...the luck factor and a herd of eager beavers are tough to beat right...lol