Hey!! Quads anyone??

[NeilZelkin]

People bitch, people moan and people who are poker players do a shitload of both. It is a game of winners and losers with the losers more often than not pissed about the outcome. Hell, if you were to take a survey during a poker tournament asking the entrants to rank their skill on a scale of 1 to 100, I am willing to bet that those players who hit the rail first most likely ranked themselves closer to 100 than the ones who end up making the money. We have all seen it. The donk who blows up the chat box telling you or someone at your table how shitty everyone is but them. But it is them who end up busting out on level 2.

I have a saying, ?If you got to say it you don?t got it.? It fits so nicely around the human condition and the way all of us are programmed to think. A good poker player has no reason to talk about their own superior skill, real or perceived, because this proficiency WILL show up in the form of winning pots and winning tournaments.
When someone starts telling you how honest they are, or how big their dick is, or how smart they are my reaction is, hide my wallet, an average size dwarf is probably more well endowed and we are dealing with a person who always got that B+ instead of a coveted A.

Well it is in this vein that I turn my attention to MERGE and its network of poker sites. Their whole marketing strategy or business model relies on the simple fact that they are the only idiots still willing to deal with players from the USA. Even more telling, they have still not been touched by the strong arm of the US justice department. If merge had a mission statement it would be,

?Merge takes pride to serve USA customers (When no one else will because???) With the best and fairest poker action in the online universe utilizing cutting-edge gaming technology.?

And now please allow me to translate this statement for you
.
?Merge is still here taking American action because they must be run by idiots or why else would they shit in the face of the US government. And in keeping with the idiot culture of MERGE leadership we have created a poker client that deals from a deck with unlimited cards. Why use only 52. So come play and watch with wonder as poker has been taken to a new level."

I have sat in front of my computer for the last 24 months and watched as MERGE has taken online poker to a new low. I am not lying when I say the virtually every single poker session I have I witness, or receive four-of-a-kind. In a pokerowned tournament last week I witnessed quads FIVE times!!!!!! Just to be fair, I did get second place and lasted 220 hands. So it wasn?t like I saw quads five times in 50 hands. Fuck that. Any way you cut it that is retarded. Quads comes in with a probability of 1 in 4177 hands. Yesterday, I played 50 hands and saw quads twice. I see quads more than I see my wife naked. And she works as a fucking stripper near the truck stop by my house.

AA gets cracked more often than a bowl of walnuts on MERGE. On MERGE being a favorite heading into the river is about as likely to hold up as a house of cards in a decent breeze. Basically, the hands being dealt, day in and day out, on MERGE are bogus. Statistically, the shit I see doesn?t add up. Its bingo poker.

And you know why? Because to MERGE it doesn?t matter. The jackasses who run it know that they are just placeholders until our government finally legalizes poker. And once that happens, it?s BYE BYE MERGE. Good riddance.

[NeilZelkin]

This just happened,

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[NeilZelkin]

This just happened,

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[snklzona]

they do seem to come quite often....

[Dactal13]

i flopped quad aces twice in two tourneys in 2 days

[TheCian]

I can never flop quads i can flop trips

[TONelson]

As much as I want to comment on this one, I won't. I'm still far to tilted over my advantures this Mergical land to think straight.

[EnvyTC420]

quad kings baby comin all day and ythey better never stop

[TONelson]

Played a live 9 person game last night and so quads three times. Saw Flopped straights twice, and no less then 10 river wins.

[NeilZelkin]

i hate quads. i hate me