5 points and a cup of apple juice
I go to get my blood drawn yesterday. I tell Brian the phlebotomist that I have shitty veins, they're small, and roll around when you poke at them. People usually have much better luck using a smaller gauge needle, even something like you would use for a child. He ties me off, says "see, there's one right there!" and I said "uhm..." but he had already gone for it with the garden hose-sized needle he had laid out in advance with the rest of his supplies. He misses entirely, and continues to dig around in my arm with the needle for a solid 60 seconds trying to find the vein. I must have blanched, because he was trying to distract me by saying things like "I think I almost have it...." and "this must be pretty standard for you..." and I'm thinking "usually I have a trained phlebotomist". During all of this, he never once backs the needle out, and after a minute of excruciating rummaging around under my skin with the needle I finally say STOPI'MGOINGTOFAINT and he says, triumphantly "...but I just got blood!"
And that was how I got a free cup of apple juice and a little rest on the exam table at the doctor's office, legs elevated. It also looks like I'm going to have a pretty awesome bruise, gratis.
